So Long 2008! Fuck Off...

Holy shit it's been a while since I've been inspired to write on this thing. OK, that's not quite true, I've been inspired but I haven't had the time or energy to post much. Now that actually have the time to put e-pen to e-paper, I don't have shit to say. I'm sitting in this coffee shop with my laptop which hasn't had wireless capabilities until today, eavesdropping on other people's conversations and contemplating the ways of the world, but I'm coming up empty. Wait....wait...I've got something.....and it's the buzzword of the year...."CHANGE" and dammit we need a lot of it.

2008 has been one fucked up year for me personally and many other people near and dear to my heart. Friends of mine have lost their homes and/or jobs, parents and spouses have passed, and my boy and his wife even lost their month-old child. Friends are divorcing, breaking up with long time girlfriends (which is actually a good thing!), the world economy is in the gutter and some of us are losing their minds, our minds, their minds, my minds....and honestly I can't WAIT for 2009 to get here so we can all collectivey tell 2008 to kiss our mutha-fuckin-smelly-two-bit-asses.

Not all of 2008 has been horrible though as there have been some bright spots. For example, Woozie's out the closet and off to college, Nasir is a single man (FINALLY!!!), my daughter is no longer pissing on the floor, my sister and brother-in-law brought a new baby boy into our family and the Counselor and Kiyotoe are preparing to welcome a little tyke of their own....but change for the better is good and sorely needed, and what better way than to establish some New Year's resolutions. I've come to the realization that I never, ever stick to mine so I'm pledging to finally maintain some consistency.

So here we go:

Resolution 1- Politics

Like the relatively slim majority of America and most of my friends (except Hollow Man) I voted for Barack Obama this election cycle and honestly, I'm still in disbelief that he actually got elected. When I was in high school, my boy PJ predicted that our generation would be the one that would elect the first Black president. I probably called him a liar in my teenaged head, not to be rude, but because I didn't believe that America would be ready for that type of revolutionary idea in my lifetime. So ok PJ, you were right and I'll be the first to admit it even if you probably don't even rememeber that conversation. So far, I've been impressed by how well Obama has handled the pressure, and he's doing it far better than the current lame-duck-in-charge but the work is just beginning considering all the fucked up shit he's got to repair.


******News Flash*********

Wait, wait, did anyone see that reporter throw his shoes at Bush over the weekend? That shit is heeeelarious!!!! Apparently just showing someone the soles of your shoes is considered offensive in the Arab world and throwing your shoes akin to telling your mother to "go fuck a donkey!" So I guess that shows how much people really appreciate Mr. Bush's idea to "liberate" Iraq.....Ok back to the story....

I like Obama a lot and think he's going to be good for the country, however I don't see Obama as the savior many people see him as. He's STILL a politician who thinks like a politician, but wants to be viewed as a person who thinks like the rest of us. I REALLY hope he's the rarest of politicians who really has "the people" in mind when he makes decisions that affect US. Though skeptical, my political resolution is to put more faith in the political system and hope that the changes we voted for are real.

Resolution 2- Communication

I mentioned to a friend of mine the other day that "The more ways they come up with for us to communicate, the less people actually communicate!" and it's SOOOO true. We have text messaging, email, facebook, myspace, skype, fax, and instant messaging but we're steadily losing our ability to actually talk to one another. While driving down the street last week, I saw this small group of teens walking and all of them were on their cell phones, talking to other people. Back in "our day", if we were in a small pack, we'd be talking to each other about something instead of chatting it up with someone else! What the fuck? I was introduced to Facebook almost two years ago before it was the haven for the people who want to find their former classmates and I thought it was bullshit- another Myspace if you will (which is STILL shyte if you ask me). This year I got back into the Facebook phenomenon and I was pleasantly surprised to find tons of folks I hadn't seen in years. I went through my "wow" phase after reconnecting with dozens of people who I'd lost contact with- you know the "WHOA I haven't seen that face in YEARS!!!" mode, and now Facebook has completely lost its lustre. After a few quick two and three line conversations with folks I went to high school with, there's nothing more to say really. I've been the last to write so many people who haven't written me back and with a few exceptions, it's clear we shouldn't have gotten back in touch in the first place. Not that it hurts my feelings or anything, but it's not surprising that we lost contact way-back-when because we probably didn't have too much to say to each other way-back-when anyway. My communication resolution for 2009 is to actually see more of my friends in person rather than just communicate via phone, email and text messages. This coffeeshop and the conversations I'm overhearing are making me nostalgic for the days where I actually looked a person in the eyes when we spoke.

By the way Nic, I'm still waiting for you to "Facebook me"..... (is that what it's called?) You know I'm still planning a mission to Whereveryoulive, Saskatchewan one of these days....

Resolution 3- Habits

All my life I've been relatively lazy and if I don't feel like doing something, it won't get done. My mom used to get mad because she'd tell me to take out the trash and I'd forget because I didn't feel like doing it at the moment. I think I still have a couple bruises from the aftermath of my forgetfulness.......Ahhhh fuck it, I'm not changing on this one- bruises or not. :)

Resolution 4- Eat more butter

My personal struggle this year has been a doozy. Those of you closest in proximity to me know the deal and those of you not in Atlanta will know of it one day. Check my facebook page for more details in about six months! Ok, ok, I'm just kidding! Anyway, this particular struggle has made me realize the frailty of life and that everything can change in an instant (don't worry, I'm not dying...) so I'm living life in a way like I never had before- I'm eating more butter! What the fuck? you ask. Well put it like this, butter represents the best and worst of the culinary experience. Butter is the most fattening condiment you can find this side of a fatal heart attack, but it makes EVERYTHING it touches taste better- breakfast, lunch or dinner. The mo' butter, the mo' better it tastes, and there is no way around that. I used to put just a dribble of butter on my toast fearing my heart will give out at any moment from overexposure. Fuck it I say. If I die of a heart attack tomorrow because my arteries are clogged with buttery goodness- it might just be worth it. Bring it on sexy little Land-O-Lakes Indian lady, who's your daddy!

Resolution #5 Try one new beer every week

I'm not much of a drinker, but Michelle and I found this new local "beer bar" called the Porter Beer Bar that has 5 times more beer on the menu than food items (not an exaggeration)....AND you can sample beers before you buy! I've found a few new brews that I like a lot and a few that taste like bar-b-qued goat testicles rolled in mud, but I can at least say that I tried it (the nasty beer...not the muddy goat testicles.) High gravity beers are the best, and considering that I might keel over any minute from a buttery asphyxiation, a good tasty brew will give my transition a nice buzz.

So for all my fellow sufferers of 2008 (you know who you are) we're moving on to greener pastures and greater things in the new year! Anything short of civil war has to be better than this shit so on the count of three we'll all say FUCK OFF to 2008, so long, farewell, au revoir, kiss my grits, biyatch!.... Ready....

ONE........

TWO................

THREEEEEEE.......

FUC.......wait, ohhhh my heart, my HEART......call 9-1-1.... I've had too much butter!