WTF

Yes it's that time again....... and ain't dis some bullshit?!?!?!

The U.S. Economy is Officially on Welfare

As most of you have found out already, the government is planning on "injecting" 700 billion dollars of OUR hard earned tax money into the economy to stave off further damage from the failing housing crisis, bankrupted financial institutions and high priced oil from Hurricanes Katrina, Rita, Ivan, Ike Turner, Larry, Moe, Curley, Tito, Michael, Gustav and Liberace. I understand the highs and lows of the economy and things often go sour from time to time, but WHAT the FUCK, MAN!! I knew back in April when the "p-p-president" was sending out checks left and right to make us feel better about the economy that shit was bad, but WHAT THE FUCK! (and you KNOW it's bad if I have to say that shit twice!) If only a $600 bribe could make people feel better about the shitty state of things and make us "forget" that folks making good money are actually struggling these days. For months, our fearless (read: pussified) leaders have been telling us that the economy is sound, but there's no way these jackasses can talk around this one. To keep from having this proverbial ship capsizing, we have to buy a bunch of worthless assets (from ourselves) and hope that it stabilizes things. Who's bright idea was that?

To quote my boy Hollowman, "The banking crisis falls directly in the lap of the banks who made ridiculous loans..." and we're bailing them out for all the trouble they've caused. Must be nice to have good friends like that! But here's my thing, 1) how the fuck can you just pull out $700 billion from the national asshole without some MAJOR economic whiplash down the line? 2) With the value of the American dollar hovering just above the Candian dollar, and sliding down faster than Britney Spears' career (and mental faculties), what is the incentive for our global partners to keep investing in us when shit repeatedly hits the fan? 3) When China actually decides to stop loaning us money (and here's my paranoid conspiracy theorist coming out), what is going to stop a BILLION Chinese people from getting in boats to come collect? Hmmm....

...AND to top it all off, C"N"N reported that the FBI is investigation fraudulent activities within four of the muthafuckin' financial institutions Congress is plannning on bailing out. I'm not holding my breath for any indictments 'cause I'm positive the hearings will go a little something like this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u5nQePE6u2U&feature=related

Some would say pointedly, "Well, no shit!" and I can't agree more.

Speaking of a "no shit" moment:

Clay Aiken is officially gay and out the closet.

OK, so who DIDN'T know this some eight years ago? What the fuck? I'm not going to claim that I have the best "gaydar" in the world, I mean, I didn't know Woozie was gay until he said it, (fooled again, doggonnit!!!), but there was no mistaking Clay "Second Place" Aiken. While some guys are able to be a little ambiguous about their sexual orientation and some even come across as sports watchin', wraslin', high fivin', booty chasin', strip club patronzin' mens' men straight guys (enough stereotypes for ya?). Others however just have "homosexual man" written right across their powdered foreheads, and this guy is one of them. I have to admit that I was a little surprised when I read that he had a kid, thinking to myself...."Hmmm, that's odd, isn't he gay?" but hey, I'm the last person to say that a gay man wouldn't make a good dad or shouldn't have kids. Frankly I'm happy for anyone who has the courage to tell society to fuck off and reveal themselves to the public like that. But again, I just have to ask, why is an obviously gay man coming out NEW(s)? I mean, if Mike TYSON or Mick Jagger were to admit that they're gay, then that's NEWS.

Speaking of NEW(s)

Remember my Hero Deborah Jeanne Palfrey? She's BACK from the Dead!

My girl DJ Palfrey was known as the "DC Madam" and for a time literally had Washington's VIP's by the balls- all because she was threatening to release her dirty black book of numbers to the public. She ran a high priced "escort service" that catered to the elite in our nation's capitol and had all kinds of government officials shitting themselves. In my first entry about her, I joked that "you don't fuck with folks in government unless you can get away with it." Sadly, as I wrote in my second entry, in May of this year she was found dead in Florida, an "apparent suicide victim". I never once believed she died by her own hands (obviously) but NOW, like a good Tupac conspiracy theory, I don't think she's even DEAD. In fact, I believe she's alive and well after beating the system of Good 'Ol Boys in DC. She's right under our noses people!!!! And when it hit me, I thought WHAT THE FUCK? That chick looks familiar! Check it out....

Look at those beady black eyes....

.....pensively in thought, pondering her next move against the political establishment.....

......looking awfully (vice) presidential in front of the courthouse.....

......AHA!!!! I KNEW IT!!!

A little plastic surgery, a bit of Alaskan sun and voila!!! From running the whorehouse to running the White House!!! (although some would argue that there's not much of a difference between the two....)